Let Those Tears Fall
We all are going through pain now, pain of losing our near and dear one, our neighbors, colleagues, known and unknown, nobody has been spared. It is a difficult time for all, a nightmare which seems endless.
I got up early in the morning, was scared to check the phone after losing a few relatives and family friends as already I was feeling down in dumps and decided to go downstairs for medicines, following all safety norms as the shop was in society only.
A thud distracted me; it was the body of a lady lying in a pool of blood; she was a doctor who had lost her husband and mother and had jumped from the 18th floor because she was depressed. I left the place, couldn’t bear the cries of her kids.
Everyone experiences loss at different stages of life and with different intensities. But this time it is not only unexpectedness of departure, it is also witnessing your family and sometimes 2-3 members of the family gasping for air and leaving, regret of not being able to give proper cremation, you are running alone to get paper to get the body and that too within hours of losing many.
Day 1: An ambulance arrived at the tower gate, as 30-year-old man lost his life simply because he was staying alone. I began to wonder why he didn’t have time to inform his parents, even though he was positive. What would have, had happened if he couldn’t drop a message even. We got to know only when foul smell emanating from inside spread in the air.
Day 2: At 5 a.m., my colleague called desperately, requesting medicine for her husband and brother who were on ventilators. How distressing was it.
Day 3: A daughter who was in town for her mother’s cancer treatment is pleading with the hospital to find out about her father’s well-being. According to reports, he was cremated as an anonymous three days ago while she was receiving daily updates on his health.
It goes on, and I lost 4 members of my family, couldn’t sleep or eat as I was rushing to three hospitals to see them daily but couldn’t save one.
Grief and anxiety, the void, everything is incalculable, but as a survivor, don’t pretend to be strong, allow yourself to cry and express how distraught you are even when you expected just a tactile contact, holding a hand or a soothing hug when you are all alone.
I am just stuck in this emotional rut. But this is the process of life. Take as long as you need to flush your tears out, share your sorrow. Don’t hold back.
Allow yourself to grieve, to mourn.